212 {picture perfect, picture perfect}
I'm utterly consumed by the idea of looking cool rn i cant get over it. i need to go clothes shopping ASAP i need to be Emo/Goth/Scene/Punk/Alt slash WHATEVER IDEK WHAT THEY R i need to dress like that bro i cant take this anymore. next time im home alone in the morning i am going to try on my moms freaking eyeliner i CANT DO THIS I WANNA BE EMO SO BAD i cant i canft i cant. where do u even buy cool clothes tho
Unfortunately there are a few factors that are inhibiting me and . Idk. they are putting me off the idea ...
1 : Me .I am not a skinny lanky bitch im a Relatively shorter (5 foot 5) chubby girl . AND IDK HOW TO MAKE COOL STUFF LOOK COOL ON ME GUYS I CANT DO IT I CANT DO IT. i have like. 2 cool outfits: big ass jeans + band shirt, and Teeny ass skirt + t shirt. AND THEY BOTH LOOK ODD AND STRANGEEEEE.... they both look better when i wear tall shoes but the on ly tall shoes i have r my cowboy boots that lk=ook Weird in nrimal clotges. and i already broke them in so i have n reason to wear them out rn GRAHHH . also i have weird LIGHT BROWN CURLY HAIR that I dont wanna dye Or straighten Or cut lowkey. and i just need to figure out how to style it. btu i also dont want to like. idk. guys why cant i just wake up looking like a scene queen. Rawr xD
2 : Peer Pressure. guys i think my mom would KILL ME if she ever saw me in an emo fit or ANYTHING OF THE SORT so. like. actually she wouldnt actualy kill me but she would make me feel like the ugliest bitch alive and i would change bc i dont wanna be ugly. so i guess the same. plus, idk what my lovely friends would say !! I actully think theyd be lowk Happy 4 me but im also scared like . im def not gonna look the cutest and I DONT WANT THEM 2 HAVE 2 ASSOCIATE W AN UGLY BITCHHH But i guess they already do so idk. idk idk IDFK
3 : Money and Accessibility . bruh where do u even buy cute clothes !!!!!!! and everywhere online is so DAMN EXPENSIVE !!!!!! and also NOTHING FITS WELL (see point 1) !!!!! idk why but i HATE how skirts look if theyre not teensy weensy and i hate how shirts look if theyre not perfect OMG I CANT FUCKING DO IT. Also i get really unconfident wearing actual cute stuff outside if its not 100% cutie bc i get scared people are gonna know i dont do it often but also who cares ???/? Idk
i think i just need to Start Small. i will start wearing hair accessories. maybe i will work my way up. at the pediatrician they talked about introducing a new food every like 2-3 days. So maybe i will introduce 1 more accessory every 2 days. Guys does this plan rock. do we rock
Omg i also need to get into belts n shit. maybe i will go to malls like 40 min away from my huse schol area so if people see im trying on shit theyre nt people i know but i also hate going to malls bc i dont like seeing kids my age they SCARE ME RBUH..... They scare me. i wonder if theyre scared f me too. Maybe illgo in the mornings or smth
I will keep scavenging. i will LEt u guys know about my journeys